"Can't. They don't have my password," she said. The girls, best friends since grade school, sweaty that humid afternoon, stretched out on beach towels on deck chairs, were discussing "that thing" when Amy, the more precocious and usually first to discover new things to try, had described to Rachel how she had been watching herself fingering on her iPad when it occurred to her that she could record it. Rachel was fascinated. Still a virgin, she loved masturbating. She had done it a few times. I could never, ever hate you. I'm so, so sorry I ran away from you the other night and wanted you to know you did nothing wrong. I was just concerned that if your father or the neighbors saw us, they might, umm, you know, get the wrong idea. Please don't feel bad about this, sweetie. I love you so much and already miss you a ton. Take good care, honey. I love you.After I hung up the phone, I felt really silly about my choice of words, and regretted leaving the message. I wished I had written. .. So, let's talk about your love life. You talk to Freddie today?"Sam sighed, "Not yet. Not really sure how to respond to him." You have mixed feelings about being in love with someone who's also in love with someone else… I don't get why you can't see it. He wants his cake and to eat it too." I never understood that saying. Who the fuck has cake and isn't eating it?" Sam..." I' know, I know… no swear words in public. Anyway, Freddie is a nice guy and I don't think he's taking advantage of my. My brother and Brandon had been friends for years. Ever since I was a chubby,little ten year old, Brandon would spend the night at my house and I would follow him like a hopeless puppy dog. He was so funny and kind, it was hard for me to stay away. Avery, my brother, had always been really protective of me. He was a good brother and was always very aware of what was going on in my life. I couldn't imagine how he felt when he saw his best friend kiss me like that. I didn't get the chance to.
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